Your teen years should be a very special time for you; a time to study and learn; to think about what you would like to do in the future; to develop friendships; and to grow into the kind of person you want to be as an adult. This time has been set aside for you by nature to be the prime time for your identity formation.
This is an exciting time for you to discover the opposite sex, but without having to deal with the complications of being involved in sexual activity. Dating can be a lot of fun without sex! Getting into the sexual scene can short-circuit the growth you need to become a mature adult!
How do I know when I'm ready?
When you' re deciding whether you are "ready" or not, you need to look at more than just your feelings. You need to look at what you are doing. Is it safe or dangerous? "Feeling ready" can't be the only criteria for "being ready" Feelings come and go. They change especially when you're a teenager. They go back and forth. But consequences of your actions don't care about your feelings. They happen no matter how you feel. Thus, when making a decision about something as important as sex, feelings can't be the only guide. The consequences of one's action must be carefully considered.
What are the consequences?
We hear a lot today about the dangers of extramarital sexual activity. Having an unwanted pregnancy, getting sexually transmitted diseases and promiscuity which often leads to contraception and abortion are just some of these dangers. Medical journals have explained time and time again that many sexually transmitted diseases are incurable. Teen pregnancy can ruin your plans for the future.
Meanwhile, doctors have also proven that condoms aren't safe and contraceptive pills are dangerous because of its harmful side effects. There are also emotional risks involved when a teenager engages in sexual activity. You might regret it when you are older and after you've met someone you "truly love". You might feel very guilty and scared after committing the act or get a bad name or reputation should the guy decide to "kiss and tell".
That Special Gift
Having sex before marriage is sort of like giving out all your Christmas gifts in July. It may be fun at the time. But when that big day comes around, the presents have all been given out! The fun of giving that special gift to that person at that very special time, is gone.
Wait until you finish your education and can make a lifelong commitment in marriage with a partner whom you love and who loves you, before you give your special gift of sex.
It isn't easy! When people say "it's not realistic to tell teenagers not to have sex," what they're really saying is that you do not have the strength, the courage, or the common sense to practice self-control; that you are not capable of saying "NO" to sex . Perhaps nothing worthwhile in life comes easy. But it' s a lot better than putting yourself through the grief of an unwanted pregnancy and having to make the decisions that go with it, or putting yourself at risk of contracting an embarrassing or life-threatening disease.
Don't be afraid you'll lose him or her if you say "no" to sex . If your boyfriend wants you only for your physical self, then they're not worth it.
Ten Good Reasons for saying "NO"
1. First of all, you won't ever have to worry about getting pregnant. You'll never experience the fear and anxiety of having to tell your parents, "I'm pregnant," or "I got my girlfriend pregnant." Pregnancy should be a happy announcement after marriage.
2. You'll never have to worry about getting STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).
3. You'll be free to grow emotionally, psychologically, intellectually and spiritually.
4. You'll feel good about yourself, knowing that you didn't give in to peer pressure.
5. By not falling into "the sex-trap", you're building your psychological strength and self-esteem.
6. You'll be setting an example for others your age, showing them that sexual activity can be avoided.
7. You'll be protecting your own reputation, no girl wants to be known as "loose" or "pakawala"; no boy wants the reputation of being a "stud" or "maniakis".
8. You'll know for certain that he or she cares about you for who you are and not just for your physical person.
9. You'll be free to channel your energies into healthy activities such as studies, sports, etc.
10. You'll learn not to confuse love with sex. Sex can be spontaneous and brief (a one night stand). Love takes time to grow and lasts forever.
